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Monday 30 April 2012

Speaking of Asshole Doctors

In trying to make a reasoned case for minimum pricing for alcohol to other doctors, Huddersfield's Dr Carsten Grimm comes off as a super nannying twat indeed.  But he's writing in a "personal capacity" so that makes it all right then, I guess.  You'll have to register on the site to read it (it's free), but Pulse published Grimm's call for a minimum price a few weeks ago.  I apologise for only just now coming to it.  There are only a small handful of us blogging about the nanny state and activist doctors, and every time I read something new about NHS doctors hating drinkers and smokers and everyone else they have to treat (because shock horror any of you actually have to fucking work for living) I have an aneurysm and need a few days to recover.  I feel overwhelmed at times blogging this stuff.  This one time, at band camp --

Anyway, if this guy is your doctor, I'm sorry.  Do make sure you do not tell him you are a drinker, though.  Or a smoker.  If you're a professional clown, or a disease-ridden hooker you might be OK.  Not sure about politicians, though. 

Trust me. I'm a Doctor who probably hates you, because I'm likely smarter and better than you chavs and peons.  I'm also tons of fun at parties.

So what has he said that has go me all riled up?  Better to say, what hasn't he said.  I wish I could post the whole article, but I cannot.  So...  Here are some highlights:

I am certain skiing would be made illegal in a matter of weeks if it were to be invented nowadays.

But my gut instinct, and my knowledge from years of working the field of primary care and alcohol misuse, tells me that [minimum pricing for alcohol] is good news.

In the one of the "worst analogies ever made" category:

Let me use another analogy. Only a few people would argue that there is no need for speed limits on our roads. Nearly everybody thinks it should be a bit higher than it is, and we all have a laugh about Jeremy Clarkson being ridiculous on TV. But does anyone believe we should have no speed limits at all?
So why do we believe that buying six pints of cider in a supermarket for less than £3 is any good?

Seriously, dude?  Speed limits and pricing for alcohol to make your point?  OK, people want the speed limit to be higher.  But nobody wants to spend more money on their booze, fuckface.  This analogy is ass.  And your a GP.  You're a fucking moron.  No wonder the NHS is going tits up. 

But you're not done yet...  go on then, make it worse why don't you.

Putting a minimum price to a harmful substance is a good thing. Making cigarettes more expensive was right – just travel to the Continent and see the number of smokers there compared with the UK – and it will work with alcohol too.

No, it wasn't the right thing. It only made smokers poorer, and now doctors in the NHS cannot be bothered to even treat the smokers WHO ARE PAYING YOUR GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING SALARY, you asshole.  Grimm, go fuck yourself.  No really, grab your office chair and ram it all the way up your arse and jump up and down for eternity.  I feel sorry for your patients who have to listen to you lecture them about their lifestyles.

I would like to close this post with FUCK OFF NHS.

I would also like to thank the Academy.