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Tuesday 3 April 2012

Sainsbury's, Waterloo, and Don't Get Sick in Devon

Sainsbury's Are Dumb

In respect of the tobacco display ban nonsense, Chris Snowdon points out a comment from the Telegraph which indicates that Sainsbury's are taking the display ban to extremes by not even letting customers know which products they have.  Sorry, sir, we cannot confirm nor deny that we sell tobacco.  Fuck off, Sainsbury's.  My advice to everyone who shops there is to ask them for brands that do not exist.  Screw with them.  Here's a happy scenario:

A customer walks into a Sainsbury's Local and says, "Hi, I'd like a pack of Roxons, please?"

The Sainsbury's clerk opens the shutter of tobacco display case, and searches for a pack of Roxons.  Not finding this brand, the clerk closes the shutter and says, "Uh... we don't have that brand."

"Could you check again, please?"

Shutter opens.  Shutter closes.  "No, sorry, I'm not seeing any of these Rock-ons."

"Oh.  That's all right.  I'll have a pack of Chapmans."

Shutter opens. Shutter closes.  "Chapmans?"

"Yes, Chapmans.  Surely you carry them."

Shutter opens.  Shutter closes.  "No.  I guess we don't..."

"Fine. Well, I guess I'll have... Oh, I don't know... Perhaps you've got some Deb Arnotts?"

Shutter opens...

Anyway, the display ban doesn't prevent retailers from letting you look at tobacco. They are allowed to open it up upon request.  Read the guidelines here (PDF).

Waterloo Hates You

Have you ever been to Waterloo Station?  If you have, you might have noticed that they don't like smokers at all.  They are some seriously hateful motherfuckers.  The smoking area is across Station Road in an uncovered area.  It's a busy road -- taxis and buses drive through this area all of the time. They don't stop for smokers.  There are signs that say it's a no smoking area on the pavement beside the building.  People ignore it all the time.  I once had some huge bald guy twice my size come racing at me for lighting up when I left the concourse area.  I was outside.  He pointed to the sign and he said I had to cross the street.  I looked at him, inhaled, and said, "I'm not going that way." And I walked down the hill and got on with my business.  Now I always ignore that sign.  So do others. 

It's kind of ironic, though.  That area is the taxi rank, and there are dozens of taxis all churning out exhaust under the roof.  I guess National Rail thinks its perfectly fine to breathe car exhaust while you're waiting in the queue to get a taxi.  Here are some pics to illustrate my point:

Just breathe it in.
The guy in the striped shirt don't give a fuck! My hero!
Image source: National Rail (

Waterloo really hates you.
Smokers' area to the left by the blue crane.  Good luck crossing Station Road, though.
 Image source:

NDDH Really Fucking Hates You (and their employees)

Finally, speaking of hateful motherfuckers, North Devon District Hospital hates you. They also hate their own staff.  Read that article from and you'll see what I mean.  Here's a quote:

"We now find ourselves having to wheel the patient out by the main road for them to have a cigarette, which is not only degrading for them to be on full view of every passer-by, but it also takes nursing staff from the ward."

Wow.  But that's completely unacceptable for the assholes at North Devon District Hospital.  Want to know what they think about that?

An NDDH spokesman said the Trust would take disciplinary action against any staff member escorting patients off the site for a cigarette as this could "seriously compromise the care of the patient".

Emphasis mine.  So, um, yeah.  Don't get sick in North Devon. But if you do, make sure you light in up your room, where it's safer. That way the staff won't get in any trouble.   Follow up article here.