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Sunday 1 April 2012

Smoke Drift Petition Down Under

Know thy enemy.

It's interesting what you can learn from trawling the hateful bastards' sites.  For instance, on the ASH Australia Facebook page, a woman utterly duped-by-the-fASHists cries out for help attention (note, see UPDATE at the end of this post):

"Any guidance on who is lobbying (Vic) Government for smoke free housing laws - we have neighbours (2 adults) smoking immediately over the fence which fills our home with smoke drift. Have sent them a letter by registered post, they are still smoking, we fear this smoke is affecting our health and our children's - is there anything more we can do ?"

Yes, Melissa.  In order to completely protect yourself from those dangerous toxins in the air, you will first need to block all automobile traffic from your community.  You also need to turn off your BBQ, your oven, your home heating and air-conditioning, and just to be safe, buy some of these lovely bubbles and put those little tykes in them.  Oh, and send as many registered letters as you like, because your neighbours really don't give a fuck about you believing in that second-hand smoke kills myth.  I'm sorry, what?  You started a petition, too?  Well, let's have a look then.

The Petition:

Right to breathe fresh air free from neighbours (sic) second hand smoke" by loveurlungs (is this you Melissa? Did you write this?)

"We all have a right to breathe clean air but families and children throughout Australia currently dont (sic) have this right..."

OK, Melissa, I don't know if you wrote that petition, but if you did here is a Pro Tip:  Learn to fucking punctuate.  See all of those buttons on your keyboard with the fancy characters and symbols just there beneath your fingers... yeah, right there.  Fucking use them.   So anyway, if "we all have a right" but "...Australia currently don't have this right" (ed. note: I fixed that for you) then how can "we all" possibly be correct?  Which is it?  All or everyone but Australians?  You're not making sense, darlin'.  If you want more than the 4 signatures you've got, you need to be at least semi-literate. 

 "Second hand cigarette smoke from neighbours is impacting on the health of families and children in many ways. With urbanisation we are all living closer together with only walls, fences or small yard spaces that separate us."

Is smoke drift or even second-hand smoke impacting your health?  Truly?  It's never been proven.  It's a lie created by people who are incredibly hateful and intolerant. And you believed them.  Let me guess, right now your children are coughing their lungs out because of that smoke drift.  They are crying themselves to sleep because your evil neighbours are killing them with each whiff of smoke drift. Because of this your kids will never go to college!  Oh, noes, Melissa!  Their precious, little lives are ruined by smokers! The horror!

You know, I can't even bother with the rest of the petition.  It's ludicrous.  You are ludicrous, Melissa.  But for now the Aussie government is more or less on your side.  Once they lose that general election in 2013, and that evil slag Nicola Roxon goes away, they won't be so much on your side any more.  Or maybe they will, because here in the UK we thought the Tories would help us.  They didn't.  The Tories are just making it worse.

So, good luck to you, Melissa.  I hope you live forever.

Yours truly,

UPDATE:   The comments noted above on ASH Australia's Facebook page have since been removed.  I don't know why yet, I've only just noticed it.  I sincerely hope that no one tried to contact her directly, because if you did then that is not cool and I do not condone it at all.  We can and should challenge people's public comments in public forums, where everyone has a chance to argue their side.  Perhaps she deleted her own comments after seeing this blog...?  Who knows?  If I find out why, I'll let you know.

UPDATE 2:  It seems the "LoveURlungs" has a brand new Facebook page.  Woo-hoo!  Someone ought to explain to LoveURlungs that this image makes absolutely no sense.